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Sexuality and disability is a topic of interest to all people with disabilities regardless of the type of disability, age of onset of disability or type of lifestyle. People with disabilities have the same needs and desires as people without disabilities for a close, intimate, and sexual relationship with another human being. People with disabilities seek opportunities for socializing and sexual expression. Sexuality is a natural and healthy part of living for everyone. Sexuality is who you sre. People with disabilities have the same right as everyone else to experience their own sexuality and to learn about their sexuality. Exploring and learning about sex and your sexual self is a lifelong process. You can find a way to express your sexuality in a way that is meaningful to both you and your partner.
The sexual concerns of people with disabilities, however, are often avoided, ignored, or discouraged. It is often difficult for parents to discuss the topic of sexuality with their child who has a disability. Sexuality and disability are two words often associated with stereotypes. People without disabilities often think that people with disabilities are not sexual.
People with disabilities are sexual human beings where both intimacy and sex are possible. Sexuality is an extension of one’s personality. Sexuality includes the integration of physical, emotional, intellectual, and social aspects of an individual’s personality that expresses maleness or femaleness. Sexuality involves touching, affection, emotions, and the sexual act.
Education about sexuality and disability is a critical component of health, well-being, and rehabilitation. Many disabled individuals, however, are not receiving adequate education about sexuality and reproductive health. Service providers should not withhold information because it is a lack of information that causes problems. In addition, many medical professionals are uninformed about the sexual potential of adults with disabilities, and may not encourage normal sexual lives.
The attitudes of health professionals can affect how people with disabilities perceive their sexuality. In many cases, negative attitudes are held by service providers and become obstacles to discovery. Many of the sexual problems confronted by disabled people are related more to negative stereotyping and attitudes of other people than to actual physical impairment. It would be helpful if health professionals provided information to people with disabilities to help them overcome physical barriers to sexual functioning. More importantly, people with disabilities can be reassured of their self-worth, and helped to know that sexuality is an important aspect of their lives.
Accurate information about sex, contraception, and appropriate sexual behavior is needed to make informed decisions about sexuality and lifestyles. It is impossible to make informed decisions without the necessary background information. If materials, for example, are provided and provided in a usable format, disabled people will be able to make their own choices. Information should be appropriate to and take into consideration the disability. Some forms of contraception, for example, should not be recommended to persons with a particular disability (e.g., a wheelchair user may be more likely to develop circulatory problems from birth control pills).
Sexuality
Following Disability or Illness
The
onset of a disability, illness, or accident can potentially impact
all aspects of our sexuality. Questions and concerns are natural
and will need to be answered: Will I ever find anyone to be intimate
with? Can I still have children? Will my partner stay with me? Will
anyone find me sexually attractive? Can I enjoy an intimate sexual
experience with someone? Confidence (self-assurance) and self-esteem
(how one feels about oneself) are needed to find a partner in the
first place and to enjoy a positive and satisfying relationship.
Confidence, self-esteem, and sexual identity may need to be developed
or may need a boost to re-build. Self-esteem is going to affect
your sexuality and sexual behavior. You may seek information and
experiences to build and/or restore confidence in your quest for
intimacy with another human being.
The search for intimacy can be a difficult and frustrating journey when a disability is present. Friendships may come easily, but friends may be reluctant to take the next step to pursue a deeper relationship. Most peoples’ image of an ideal mate probably does not include someone with a disability. On the other hand, starting out with a friendship may provide a natural path into a deeper relationship.
Disability can make it difficult to get around as easily as most other people, and this may in turn limit your ability to meet and socialize with others. That special person may live next door. Getting out in the community and becoming involved in activities outside the home such as furthering your education, becoming involved in community activities, sports, church, or groups that share your interests are all ways to meet new people.
Other people may not approach a person with a disability. People with disabilities may find themselves in situations where they need to take the lead in both developing and furthering a relationship. Taking the lead can mean taking a risk, and the outcome may be positive or not-so-positive. You may be pleased or disappointed with the outcome, but you probably learned something about yourself and the other person in the process. The important thing is to feel free enough inside to take the lead. Societal attitudes often equate appearance with desirability that can add to the difficulty of finding a romantic partner. Even though you may not have the ideal body shape in the view of society, you need to learn to like your body and who you are. Along the way, you can strive to develop your personality, communication skills, and sensuality.
You may need to make adaptations, and you may not be able to be as spontaneous as someone without a disability in order to address issues of pain, fatigue, bowel and bladder routines, and schedules of personal care assistants. You may need to learn different techniques if you have back pain or arthritis or how to hug someone from a wheelchair. You may need a personal care assistant to help you get ready. If a personal care assistant is comfortable with their own sexuality, you may want to incorporate their assistance into your routine to make getting ready easier on your partner. Your partner may need to play a more active role. Experimentation, alternative methods of pleasuring, and assistive devices may be used. Communication is very important, especially when a disability is present. It is important for partners to express their needs so they can mutually satisfy each other.
If you are seeking an intimate relationship, you should never stop trying. Somewhere, there is a person out there who is willing to look beyond the disability, and that is the person you are trying to find. You should keep looking and have fun exploring your sexuality. At the heart of an intimate relationship is the ability to relax and have fun, and find a balance between sensuality and sexuality.
We hope the information will help you deal with your sexuality and your attitudes toward sexuality and disability. We have provided various websites that offer more information and resources related to sexuality and disability.
SIECUS
The Sexuality Information of Education Council of the U.S. is a
national non-profit organization. SIECUS affirms that sexuality
is a natural and healthy part of living. They develop, collect,
and distribute information, promote comprehensive education about
sexuality, and advocate for the right of all individuals to make
responsible sexual choices.
The organization
believes that persons with physical, cognitive, or emotional disabilities
have a right to sexuality education, sexual health care, and opportunities
for socializing and sexual expression. In addition, family, health
care workers, and other caregivers should receive training in understanding
and supporting sexual development and behavior, comprehensive sexuality
education, and related health care for individuals with disabilities
to minimize the risk of sexual abuse and exploitation.
SIECUS also provides a list of publications covering sexuality and
disability that can be obtained.
|
New York Office SIECUS |
Washington,
DC Office |
MossRehab
Resource Net
MossRehab Hospital offers comprehensive care to people with a broad
range of conditions that include stroke, brain injury, orthopedic
and musculoskeletal disabilities, spinal cord dysfunction, pulmonary
disorders, amputations, and other forms of disability. One of the
main issues medical professionals take into consideration is the
sexuality of individuals with disabilities and provide information
on this issue.
MossRehab
Resources Net
MossRehab Hospital
1200 West Tabor Road
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19141-3099
215-456-9900
http://www.mossresourcenet.org/sexuali.htm
The
National Women's Health Information Center (NWHIC)
The National Women’s Health Information Center is a service
in the Department of Health and Human Services. The NWHIC provides
a gateway to the vast array of Federal and other women’s health
information resources. NWHIC provide information to help advance
women’s health research, services, and public and professional
education. Type in disability to find information.
The
National Women’s Health Information Center
8550 Arlington Blvd Suite 300
Fairfax, VA 22031
800-994-9662
800-220-5446 (TTY)
http://www.4women.gov/
The
Sexual Health Network
The Sexual Health Network provides access to sexuality information
and education for people with disabilities throughout the lifecycle
and for those who love and care for them.
http://www.sexualhealth.com/channel/view/disability-illness/
The
Novel Approach to Sexuality and Disability
The Novel Approach to Sexuality and Disability by Georgie Maxfield,
is a book that explores disability and its effects on sexual relationships
from the bizarre through daily living. This book is available on Amazon.com.
http://www.amazon.com/Novel-Approach-Sexuality-Disability/dp/B000JVA8M0
