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People with disabilities want to date, have fun, and form relationships just like people without disabilities. We look for positive experiences in our relationships. We look for companionship, love, romance, intimacy, and respect just like everyone else. It is about developing a meaningful connection with someone else. People with disabilities are still interested in romance. Afterall, a little romance always spices up life. The desire to form friendships and relationships with others is a natural part of life and growing. We seek to love, be loved, and accepted completely even if we have a disability. We all have hopes, wishes, failures and successes in our pursuit of a relationship with another human being. People with disabilities can both love and be loved..
Almost all teens and young adults dream of finding the perfect partner that will last a lifetime. It is normal to be attracted to potential mates and to experience heartbreak and rejection. Finding love is tough for anyone. If you have a disability, the most difficult challenge may be dealing with the attitudes of other people. Your own attitudes can also hold you back. Since other people usually pick up on how you feel about yourself, you can look at how you present yourself to others. If you have a positive image of yourself and take the risk of getting to know someone, there may be a chance of developing a relationship. If you do not take the risk, nothing may happen. You can improve your self-image by building on your strengths. You need to find ways to share your positive qualities. Show others that you are comfortable with your disability and that it is only one part of your life. Be careful not to focus on self-imposed barriers because it is hard enough to find someone to deal with the issues of disability.
Finding a date can be a challenging experience for someone with a disability because disability is often seen as different from the norm. We are often seen as being different from the norm because we may not match the image of physical perfection. While we have our own experience, it is probably different from the norm. Our lifestyle may be different to accommodate the needs of our disability. We may do things differently even though we still get things done. Still, it may be difficult for others to see past the disability. Many of us with disabilities, however, are challenging the obstacles. If you like someone and want to ask them out, take the initiative and get out in the dating world.
There are many ways to meet people when you are actively involved in your community. Being involved in a variety of activities will give you the opportunity to meet people. Be a good friend first, a person who genuinely cares about the other person. You can build friendship, trust, and respect as you share ideas and activities. You can work on what to say and talk about. There are many unattached people out there looking for companionship and love. It is worthwhile to say hello to people you meet along the way such as someone in a grocery store, a café, or wherever you travel. As you interact with others, you will always be confronted with the question, “What will you say about your disability?” Will your disability be distracting to the person you are interested in getting to know better? Be open about your disability and prepared to answer questions if asked. As you discuss your disability, however, try not to complain too much. You can still be attractive to another person if the person can look beyond the disability.
Lack of transportation, however, may be an obstacle that can make it difficult to get around and can increase isolation. You can look for ways to bring people to you by having other people over to socialize and visit, hold meetings, or be part of a group with similar interests. If you use a wheelchair and cannot drive but you have an accessible van, you can ask your parents to drive or get someone else to drive. The Internet also offers possibilities for meeting people online. The usual precautions should be taken to keep safe.
It takes a very special person to look beyond the disability. Only settle for someone who treats you with love and respect. Never settle for anything less.
If you are sexually active, check out the “Disability and Sexuality” website. Although this website was developed for students, they have a section on Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) and how to prevent them that is useful to everyone.
Since there are minimal resources on the web on “Dating & Relationships,” we recommend you continue your search for information by talking with your family, friends, other people with disabilities, your physician and other health professionals.
General
Tips For Safety:
No matter how you go about meeting people and finding a date, be
sure to take into consideration some general tips for your safety.
If you have an online conversation, make sure that you:
If you plan to meet someone face-to-face for the first time:
Disability
and Sexuality: Information for Students
The Sexually Transmitted Disease Services, based at Royal Adelaide
Hospital in Adelaide, Australia, provides background information
about sexuality and disability as well as gives insight into the
myths that are associated with individuals who live with disabilities.
It also offers links about important information regarding Sexually
Transmitted Diseases (STD's) and how to prevent them as
well as an extensive list of references and suggested reading material.
.
http://www.stdservices.on.net/std/social_aspects/disability.htm
Planned
Parenthood
This website provides general health information to the public
so that they can make better choices. Health information is provided on birth control, emergency contraception,
sexually transmitted infections and safer sex, pregnancy and parenting,
abortion, teen issues, women’s health andhealth facts.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org
